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It might be that, but I don’t have the factual data.Literally, 10 minutes ago Sheri and I were just talking about that very same thing for an interview she was doing and we were trying to find that research.The differences might be where they are socially and economically: are they going through a divorce?Men might be dealing with the financial aspects of that, which could be alimony and child support, and women might be raising children. Men want love just as much as women and we really want relationship as much as women do. I said in a Facebook post “Know your audience.” Where are they coming from in their lives?Know what you want in relationship and know your audience. I will take a particular thing that I see so often in my coaching practice. I notice a habit that when a men sends a text: “How’re you doing?Can he fit into your life instead of trying to mold yourself into his? ” a woman might write back a novel, sharing her entire day, in volumes of information.He has the inside scoop on the male mind—because he has one—but carries with him the sensitivity and compassionate listening ability that is more culturally female.His book entitled The Relationships Men Commit to and Why is a guide to getting to know the other half of the human species.

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What happens is that it might take a man much longer to get to that point and in that space it may feel like he fears commitment.

He just hasn’t reached the destination at the same time.

Let me just dovetail here, Edie; I can go into a whole thing about avoiders and attachers and attachment styles that might also seem like one of the reasons there are differences.

The blueprint I had was, “go to college, get a job, meet a girl, get married, buy a house, start a family.” I had no blueprint for how to make a relationship work and had no clue how my parents made it work, and the same thing holds true for those who had difficult relationships. A.: I say the same thing in my book: The Relationships Men Commit to and Why. In that pie, you come in 100 percent to your half and the woman comes in 100 percent to her half. It doesn’t mean there is any guarantee of commitment whether it is on the first date or 90 days, but I am always of the belief of developing a friendship first, because that is what carries a relationship for the long term.

As we get older and start to experience relationships for ourselves, we learn by trial and error. Oftentimes men and women have the greatest challenge because they don’t have any clarity on what they want in relationship. What I actually recommend to women is that they actually hold back a little bit, because women have a tendency to give 100 percent to his half. When we talk about traditional roles, I remember when I was dating and a woman said, “I’m a traditional woman,” I would get frustrated because I said, “I live in the 21 century.” What does that really mean?




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